Friday, March 1, 2013

The gift of Vulnerability

She spoke the words and they stung...

Boy did they sting. Yet I just smiled and turned my face to the window. My wondering mind began to re-collect, cold words spoken, indifference and a "not-so-subtle" change in character...Laughing hard at me, I realized, I had fallen prey to my heart once more

 “And maybe that was love. Being so vulnerable and allowing someone else in so far they could hurt you"....

Christime Feehan's words taunted who once again, had taken a relationship to be more that it actually was. 

I don't do this so often, my heart is not that unruly, but when I find a kindred spirit (well at least I always believe they are), my heart opens up like the morning glory does to the rays of sunshine.

Its been two weeks, but finally, I'm back to me...see, I'm not ashamed that I gave more than I received, neither do i regret that I believed what was not. Cos in life, I've learnt that to be vulnerable is to be alive, to be strong...I'd rather live and hurt than be dead so I do not hurt, and to live life void of vulnerability, is to live yet be dead

 “I tell you, love your enemies. Help and give without expecting a return. You’ll never—I promise—regret it. Live out this God-created identity the way our Father lives toward us, generously and graciously, even when we’re at our worst. Our Father is kind; you be kind.

Give away your life; you’ll find life given back, but not merely given back—given back with bonus and blessing. Giving, not getting, is the way. Generosity begets generosity.”  (Luke 6:35-38)

 So once again, I pick myself up, re-align my heart with reality and wait, cos I know, come tomorrow, I will be vulnerable again...Vulnerability is not weakness, Vulnerability is strength, its courage. 

So when next you love without being loved in return, remember this...To be able to feel love, that in its own is a gift...cherish it, rejoice in it, then step back and let the other person just be.

We bumped into each other yesterday, we chatted, we laughed, she mentioned how we don't ride together again...I smiled a genuine smile as I said "maybe sometime soon". 

 1000 Gifts - Joy Dare
7- Thankful for the gift of vulnerability

8- Thankful for the gift of forgiveness
9- Thankful for the gift of healing