Friday, July 27, 2012

Sweet, little things - Marriage

 I got this from a friends facebook page and just felt I should share, turns out he also got it from . Enjoy...lemme not spoil it with too much talk :)

My name is Dayo. I’m a typical Nigerian guy and I cherish my Fridays a lot; I get to hang out with the sickest guys every Friday night and secondly, It’s another escape from my nagging and boring wife. I get confused sometimes on whether she’s my mother or my wife. Don’t get it twisted; I love her pieces. It just gets complicated; like I wish we never got married…marriage has turned her into something that doesn’t amuse me. I wish she was still the adventurous, charming, high spirited lady I dated for five years.

A lot of people say its unethical for married guys to be found in a club, but I wish everyone won’t be too quick to judge and understand that people look for fun to run away from their problems; they just want to breathe, like me.

I forgot to say that I work in Guarantee Trust Bank along Lekki, I love my job and my job loves me, maybe its because I’m the senior banking officer. Lol. This particular morning, a lady breezed into my office. My heart raced faster because I had not sighted anything this beautiful in a long while. She wasn’t the typical slender Barbie, in fact, she was a bit chubby but her smile, cuteness and…I was tripped.

“Hi Good morning! Your ATM has swallowed my card!” She laughed, unlike a typical customer that would ram you.

I just tried to form Boss laughter…

“Good morning, You know what? I’d personally make sure they get it out for you, but not today. Can you wait till Monday?” I smiled

“GTB shaaa! OK, can I just drop my number so you could call me up or just text when its ready so I don’t come twice? Please? My name is Nancy” She blinked her eyes in a funny way.

“Sure” I smiled

We exchanged numbers. What a lucky Friday!

So it was 10:00pm and I headed to the club…as usual my friends were chilling for me. My wife had called a couple of times, I just ignored it. She knows I’m never home Friday nights.

“Look at you!” I heard someone say. I raised my head and it was the Look at you!” I heard someone say. I raised my head and it was the ATM lady-Nancy.

“Wow, look at you too!” I was surprised to see her but I was happy I didn’t have to wait till Monday to see her again.

“Happy Friday!” She screamed because of the noise, “Wanna dance?”

I didn’t even have the chance to answer, she already pulled me to dance floor. I really suck at dancing but she helped me; she was a great dancer! I had fun! At some point we decided to go to a private area and we talked, ranging from work, business to personal life. I tried to hide my ring as much as possible, I certainly didn’t want this to end now.

“You are a really wonderful lady. You are so interesting…any guy would want to be with you all day” I said.

“I wasn’t always like this but I have learned the hard way that life is just too short to be sad” she sang

Then her phone rang…

“Hey baby! Yeah I’m at the private lounge, I’d like you to meet someone…alright boo” she talked excitedly as usual.

I was in shock until this tall handsome man walks up to her and kisses her.

“You were late. Meet Dayo; I met him this morning, he’s helping with your ATM I told you got swallowed and Dayo this is my B to the O-O,” she laughed “Meet my husband Kolade, we only come here to dance every fortnight Friday; away from work, stress and kids.”

“Wow, a pleasure” I managed to shake him

Then she stood now excitedly holding her husband’s arms.

“Why don’t we invite Dayo for Mimi’s 16th birthday tomorrow?” Her husband said

They have kids too? How long have they been married and they look like a couple just dating!

“Silly me, please come for my second daughter’s 16th tomorrow. It would be an honor” She brought out an I.V from her purse.

I began to feel so ashamed of myself…this was another guy like me, getting it right with one woman.

I collected the I.V and promised to be there.

“See you tomorrow! Have you had something to eat Kolade?” she talked and dragged her husband along.

They left and I kept staring atat the thin air like I had seen a ghost. They come just to dance together every fortnight Fridays? Why didn’t I think of that! Temi loves to dance…she also likes long walks, she loves to talk…she loves jazz music, there’s this vivid picture I have of me putting her hand on my chest when we danced at a jazz club on our first year anniversary…I found myself typing all the things I knew Temi loved to do on my Ipad and I realized I had denied her of all…I had made her the old woman she acts.

What the hell was I doing here! I didn’t even tell my friends goodbye, I walked out of the club into my Jaguar. Temi’s call came through and I picked at first ring.

“Temi?” My heart raced

“I know you are not coming home…”

“I am, stay up so we can gist. Been a while” I decided to do everything on that list and to even add many more for the rest of my lifetime with her.

“Are you alright?” She was shocked I suppose

“And I’d like us to go for a birthday party tomorrow. I want you to meet this amazing couple”

“You sound different Dayo”

“Maybe I’m different”

“Don’t say it! don’t say it! when you come we will gist very well” she laughed

She laughed!!! In just that laughter that I hadn’t heard in a while, she sounded like the lady I married six years ago…

Dear reader,

I wrote this natural piece just to remind us that creating memorable moments with our partner matters. Do you know that little things are the sweetest things? Just creating time to gist and laugh with your partner, having a day in the week that’s exclusively for you both-No friends or kids allowed.

Lady, when last have you told your partner he is so darn hot? Guy! When last have you told your lady she is the sweetest thing? When last have you whispered ‘Thank you’? When last have you been quick to say ‘I’m sorry’?

Do you even have a clue on what your partner loves to do?

When you ignore little things, they are the little pieces of rocks that build up to become a mountain you can’t easily break down.

I just had to share this with u guys.....wish u luck!
Posted on 10:37 AM | Categories:

Sunday, July 1, 2012

Marriage is...(3)

He usually calls around 9pm/10pm...and when he didn't, I kinda knew he wont be coming home tomorrow as was earlier agreed.

That's his way, lol. Stuff wont go as planned and he'd have to stay back and iron out site issues, so he wont call, not because he did not remember, but cause he knows how "I'd be" on the other end of the phone.

So I pick up the phone and call anyway, I make it easy,...lets get this over and done with.

"So how did it go, are you ready for the inspection"

"Mehn, Its been crazy here baby, first off, we saw a rock while digging, then we had to break the rock, then the rain has been crazy...." its about this time my brain begins shutting down, all I can think of is....GOSH!!, I'm exhausted...."....So hopefully Friday I should be home.


"Are you there? you're not saying anything"

"Not much to say, see you on Friday,nite and take care" and I hang up.

I look at the lil terror in front of me, screaming out gibberish and urging me to play...(where's the strength? 6hours of driving through maddening traffic, open laptop reminding me of unfinished presentations due in the morning...well, with increase comes responsibilities...I just need a good scream), I smile at her, whisper to God for sanity and indulge her...Lord please, let her fall asleep soon.

And Friday came, and Saturday...and now...Sunday is here.

I choose not to call today, not out of anxiety, but cos I'm choosing to take these things as they come. 

I'm still pissed he didn't make yesterday, and yes, I understand he's stressed too, but sometimes, in the words of @gbemisoke, "I get tired of being strong and I want my husband"

In a few hours, he might call to say he's on his way, he might call to say he cant make it again today...whatever the case may be, what ever the feeling I feel ... exasperation, anger or relief...truth is, whenever he appears at the door, I'd still feel my heart swell, cos no matter how much he gets under my skin, planned or unplanned, I cant stay mad at him for so long. How can I...when his only crime is taking time to sort out work...would i rather he ditch work to stay with me? mba nu...

So for me, marriage is, learning when to hold on to the bad feelings and learning when to just acknowledge them and move on, being more thankful for the good feelings and the good times. 

Marriage is....Embracing you, body and soul, as you walk through the door...letting the joy of homecoming wash away the weariness of days past.

 PS: When he's home, work load is still same, and lil miss is still as boisterous as ever, yet for some reason, I always feel less stressed...does this happen to anyone else?
Posted on 11:43 AM | Categories: