Sunday, July 1, 2012

Marriage is...(3)

He usually calls around 9pm/10pm...and when he didn't, I kinda knew he wont be coming home tomorrow as was earlier agreed.

That's his way, lol. Stuff wont go as planned and he'd have to stay back and iron out site issues, so he wont call, not because he did not remember, but cause he knows how "I'd be" on the other end of the phone.

So I pick up the phone and call anyway, I make it easy,...lets get this over and done with.

"So how did it go, are you ready for the inspection"

"Mehn, Its been crazy here baby, first off, we saw a rock while digging, then we had to break the rock, then the rain has been crazy...." its about this time my brain begins shutting down, all I can think of is....GOSH!!, I'm exhausted...."....So hopefully Friday I should be home.

Silence

"Are you there? you're not saying anything"

"Not much to say, see you on Friday,nite and take care" and I hang up.

I look at the lil terror in front of me, screaming out gibberish and urging me to play...(where's the strength? 6hours of driving through maddening traffic, open laptop reminding me of unfinished presentations due in the morning...well, with increase comes responsibilities...I just need a good scream), I smile at her, whisper to God for sanity and indulge her...Lord please, let her fall asleep soon.

And Friday came, and Saturday...and now...Sunday is here.

I choose not to call today, not out of anxiety, but cos I'm choosing to take these things as they come. 

I'm still pissed he didn't make yesterday, and yes, I understand he's stressed too, but sometimes, in the words of @gbemisoke, "I get tired of being strong and I want my husband"

In a few hours, he might call to say he's on his way, he might call to say he cant make it again today...whatever the case may be, what ever the feeling I feel ... exasperation, anger or relief...truth is, whenever he appears at the door, I'd still feel my heart swell, cos no matter how much he gets under my skin, planned or unplanned, I cant stay mad at him for so long. How can I...when his only crime is taking time to sort out work...would i rather he ditch work to stay with me? mba nu...

So for me, marriage is, learning when to hold on to the bad feelings and learning when to just acknowledge them and move on, being more thankful for the good feelings and the good times. 

Marriage is....Embracing you, body and soul, as you walk through the door...letting the joy of homecoming wash away the weariness of days past.


 PS: When he's home, work load is still same, and lil miss is still as boisterous as ever, yet for some reason, I always feel less stressed...does this happen to anyone else?

19 comments:

  1. Hmmm, I am learning from you married people.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hmm, we learn everyday too o, just when we think we've got one part down, something else pops up and we start the process again :)

      Delete
  2. "...letting the joy of homecoming wash away the weariness of days past..."

    I totally felt this post. And yes, I feel the same way...when he's at home, although sometimes he's still working, it feels wonderful. Love this!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sometimes, I feel it could be something emotional, like, seeing them kinda makes us stronger. I also believe its same for them too

      Delete
  3. Hmmm... like Atilola, I have a lot to learn oh and I am still learning. Thank you for sharing this with us ma.

    - LDP

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks bro, I'm sure soon, we'd all be sharing together ;)

      Delete
  4. Oh Jhazmyn! I just want to hug u right now.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I need to go back and read 1 and 2... Would be right back!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Oh WOW... this must be one of the 'little joys' of marriage they always refer to... i should be taking notes!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lol, and I'm sure you'd do great when the time comes...:)

      Delete
  7. hmmm i know this feeling...in fact i had a melt down last weekend to a similar issue. I had been acting all strong all week but by Friday I erupted. Phew. I had to ask God to forgive me

    Hmm do i feel less stress when Baale is home..in some aspects yes,,,in some aspects no.

    Such is life!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Bless you sis, more strength to you.

      Its really not an easy task, doable but tough, makes me appreciate single moms, they sure are amazing women

      Delete
  8. Aaaawwww... Bless your heart. I was in a relationship a while back where my boyfriend had to travel out of town all the time and it almost broke me so i can only imagine what it must be for you, married, with a kid and work. But the Lord is your strength and i pray He keeps you guys stronger even through this.

    God bless you for sharing

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Amen Dosh, you're just a darl ((hugs))

      Delete
  9. hmmm...the joys of marriage,this is nice.

    ReplyDelete
  10. I really like this " marriage is, learning when to hold on to the bad feelings and learning when to just acknowledge them and move on, being more thankful for the good feelings and the good times."

    www.bukkyapampa.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It sure is, funny enough I took me the whole of my first year to learn this lesson, but Its a lesson worth learning :).

      Delete