Wednesday, May 23, 2012

The Viscious Cycle....

Babs was a friend, yes, at a point we were more than friends, and we shared our secrets. He told me how he lost his virginity to his househelp at the age of 11, I was just 16 then and I found this revelation funny rather than sad, he joked about how the incident turned him into a randy young man. We grew up, we grew apart, I watched him satify his sexual desires all the time blaming that incident of years back, Now he's married and all I pray for is that he becomes a better man, a loving husband and a great dad.

Chisom is 12, a pretty, jovial high school student. Segun is a 30-something year old lawyer, who lives in the same appartment building with Chisom's parents. I dont know where his head was that fateful day he sent Chisom on an errand to buy something for him, but it definitely wasnt in the right place. She came back from the errand, he locked his door and raped her, her Kid sister kept screaming and banging on his door, but this wasnt enough to get hom to stop this sickening act. She ran to the police once the ordeal was over, and after much interrogation, he confessed, putting the blame on the devil (typical). One would think it was a clear cut case, Segun would be tried and arrested, but no, Chisom's parents refuse to press charges. "Its too much of an ordeal for her, we cant allow her to keep relieving the details, our system is messed up, what if Segun bribes the police men, then what case do we have?". Chisom is scarred, she's a strong girl so yes, I believe she would overcome this, but my heart is sick, I'm hoping her parents get her professional help. Segun....that monster is free, Yes the tenants had him kicked out of the apartment, but what about the kids in the next house he would move into?

Tare, the cute and chubby 5year old, the innocent young girl with a heart full of love, told the child psychologist how much she hated Ayo, the 20-something year old dog handler that had been working with her dad for months now. She drew a picture of her family all with smiling faces, and when the psycholigist asked her about the dog minder, she drew another stick figure with a sad face and painted his heart black ( actually never knew we had child psychologists in Nigeria till now). This young player, who had young girls flocking around him, decided to use a 5year old for his debasing desires. He held her firm on the bed pulled down her underwear and kept rubbing against her until he ejaculated. Joy, the househelp heard the cries and kept trying to break down the locked door without success (He finally ran out of the room when Joy began to scream for the neighbours). He is still at large, but the parents have sworn to bring him to book, even if it takes everything they have.

These acts have been, are and would still be, and as I look at my daughter, I'm asking God to watch over her and protect her in those moments that I cant.

How can we potect our children, even relatives have been know to molest nieces and nephews, so where are they safe? Please Mothers, Fathers, Aunties, Uncles, what measures do you take to keep your wards safe, what signs do you look out for?

PS: Although these cases are true, Names have been changed to protect the identities of concerned persons


  1. fear grips me anytime i read or hear stories like this.

    Gbemisoke shared something on twitter where she said that, we have to listen to our wards, pray with them and for them as well as teach them the right names to call their private parts.

    There are too many bad things happening in the world lately and we only hope and pray for the best for our kids. I for one always pray with my four year old son before he steps out of the house.

  2. We watch, we pray, we teach. Personally, I'm not comfortable leaving my son with a lot of people. Sometimes I wonder if I'm being paranoid but when I head some things, I'm sure I'm not. There were several instances I was a child when I could have been abused but God kept me. A particular one sticks though, I was a little girl, my cousin lay on me with my clothes on and kept humping, I was little but I can never forget and thank God he didn't get it into his sick brain to rape me. My mum was away a lot at this time. I won't bring relatives to live in my house, that's certain and I'm going to make sacrifices to be there for my kids as much as possible. Oh I also won't be having many lol.
    Most importantly, God is able to keep that which we commit to Him. His eyes reach where we can't.

  3. Mehn... HEARTLESS! It's scary the desires in some men to gratify the flesh. My quest is, if they must, should it be through rape? Grown up men should be able to find their ways around for God's sake! Why molest innocent children in the names desires... of all the things I can pardon, I am not sure rape is one of them. God forbid, if I am the parent to either Chisom or Tare, it'd be hard to let go in anyway. Just thinking about it gets me angry. *sigh* to this generation filled with merciless sexual whores like Segun and Ayo.

    - LDP

  4. As parents, there is nothing to do but to be vigilant and pray for the protection of the children, cos you can't be everywhere at all time. This reality is everywhere in the world. Let's just ask God to keep watching them for us, but at the same time, not fail to do our own part

    Thanks for the putting up my book on your side gadget.

  5. So, so sad and downright evil!

    I guess speaking openly with our kids about what's appropriate or not while interacting with other kids or adults will help a lot.

    And most of all, placing them in the safe arms of our Lord for protection.

    I think because these bad people usually get away when parents refuse to press charges the evil continues to perpetuate itself.

  6. Sigh it's so sad, it's only by God's grace that our children won't become victims of sexual abuse
    Safety is not the abscence of danger, it's God who protects!

  7. heartbreaking! we just have to keep doing our best to protect our children and be vigilant at all times. God help us.

  8. Oh God, I got goosebumps reading this, so terrible and sad. We can only teach our children and take precautions.