Monday, October 17, 2011

Domestic Help...To each his own

"Hian...you HAVE a househelp????, for what na, which work is she doing in the house? and you are even paying her that much? Biko, let me come and negotiate with you for the job o, what do you even need a househelp for...Na wa for you o, your just wasting ur husband's money."

Now, this post is not about me asking whether it is right to have a help or not, its simply about me saying....ITS MY LIFE, ITS MY DESCISION, ITS MY MONEY....and as long as I dont get in your business, I'd appreciate u to stay outta mine.

The statement above was made by a woman I met while while discussing about my househelp with my neighbour in the salon yesterday. Was I offended? Nope, Was I amused? Totally.

The discussion of the day suddenly turned to me, and what business I had getting a help, with just one child to take care of. While I had several responses to give as to why I had a help, I really didnt think i owed anyone an explanation (plus I hate being confrontational....yup, I'm chicken like that), so I just smiled and let the conversation go on around me.

Now take note, this woman in question has her younger sis leaving with her, this sister isnt in school yet and is the one responsible for preparing her 2 kids for school, picking them up, preparing them for bed, and preparing food for the house (unsolicited information gotten from the hairdresser after the woman had left the salon...lol). In other words, she has what I have, difference is, hers is for free (boarding and feeding fees excluded). Woman 2 who seemed to agree with her is a newly wed (5months into marriage), so not much to deal with in terms of a kid and added responsibility. Plus they both work closer to the area than I do.

Can I live without a help...yes?
what would suffer? ....I'd be ubber stressed out having to deal with the daily back and forth of oko-oba - Victoria Island. I'd be sleep deprived, waking up at 4:15 and sleeping at 10pm with one or two wakes at night. D would hear "baby, pls I'm tired, not tonight" basically every single day of the week...and since I'd be cleaning house once a week on the weekends and doing laundry, weekends might just be included. Finally, I'd be too much of a grouch for miss K, and she'd definitely grow up avoiding me. Dont forget the part of me aging faster than my mates...lol

So for those that think I am being wasteful...una never start o, cos I'm even thinking of getting a driver. Heard of a man who slumped on the steering and I'm freaked out right now, so....deal with that too.

Also, D is extremely touched, as he never knew he had advocates who cared so much for his financial status even though it affects them in no way at all.

Finally....My mother adviced me to be like the proverbs 31 woman....and guess what?...she had domestic helps too (notice the plural)....lmao....I kid, I kid....


I guess I'm just trying to tell the busy-bodies in society to back off, one man's meat is another man's poison, so the fact that this doesnt work for you, doesnt mean it wont work for the next person. On second thoughts though, you can decide not to back off....keep doing you, and i'd keep doing me
Posted on 12:03 PM | Categories:

Friday, October 7, 2011

For the one we lost......


I knew i'd be writting to you sometime soon,
I just never though it'll be this soon.....


I can hold your hand,
but not the pieces of your broken heart,
They seem too shattered to ever be pieced together again.
 I can offer a hug,
but I doubt it'll be enough to dry up the tears 
that just keep flowing without stop.

It feels like life has stopped for you in this one moment,
yet when you look around, life continues for everyone else,
even those who sit right now by your bedside.

We'd say we feel your pain,
but when we get back home, we're surrounded by warmth
we wrap our babies and laugh at their excited gurgle,
And at the back of your mind you wonder...
...How on earth can we understand?

Your world is upside down and you want so bad to scream
Wish it all away, wake up as in from a bad dream


Hmmm, Sister, Friend, my heart breaks for you.
I want to be there for you the best I can
I pray I find the how.

And for you lil one we never got to hold,
I wonder where you are right now.
Maybe back home in heaven,
charming the angels with that smile we'd never see.
When we see again,would we look you in the eye 
and know all of a udden that its you?
Or would you somehow come back to us again???


You'd have brothers and sisters that you may never know,
they may comfort us and with time, 
this pain would fade.
But you would always remain the one,
with whom your mom first experienced the joys of a first kick




Dedicated to MD, who lost her baby at 24weeks...I'm glad to see you're stronger now, you inspire me love




Posted on 10:17 AM | Categories: