Monday, October 17, 2011

Domestic Help...To each his own

" HAVE a househelp????, for what na, which work is she doing in the house? and you are even paying her that much? Biko, let me come and negotiate with you for the job o, what do you even need a househelp for...Na wa for you o, your just wasting ur husband's money."

Now, this post is not about me asking whether it is right to have a help or not, its simply about me saying....ITS MY LIFE, ITS MY DESCISION, ITS MY MONEY....and as long as I dont get in your business, I'd appreciate u to stay outta mine.

The statement above was made by a woman I met while while discussing about my househelp with my neighbour in the salon yesterday. Was I offended? Nope, Was I amused? Totally.

The discussion of the day suddenly turned to me, and what business I had getting a help, with just one child to take care of. While I had several responses to give as to why I had a help, I really didnt think i owed anyone an explanation (plus I hate being confrontational....yup, I'm chicken like that), so I just smiled and let the conversation go on around me.

Now take note, this woman in question has her younger sis leaving with her, this sister isnt in school yet and is the one responsible for preparing her 2 kids for school, picking them up, preparing them for bed, and preparing food for the house (unsolicited information gotten from the hairdresser after the woman had left the In other words, she has what I have, difference is, hers is for free (boarding and feeding fees excluded). Woman 2 who seemed to agree with her is a newly wed (5months into marriage), so not much to deal with in terms of a kid and added responsibility. Plus they both work closer to the area than I do.

Can I live without a help...yes?
what would suffer? ....I'd be ubber stressed out having to deal with the daily back and forth of oko-oba - Victoria Island. I'd be sleep deprived, waking up at 4:15 and sleeping at 10pm with one or two wakes at night. D would hear "baby, pls I'm tired, not tonight" basically every single day of the week...and since I'd be cleaning house once a week on the weekends and doing laundry, weekends might just be included. Finally, I'd be too much of a grouch for miss K, and she'd definitely grow up avoiding me. Dont forget the part of me aging faster than my

So for those that think I am being wasteful...una never start o, cos I'm even thinking of getting a driver. Heard of a man who slumped on the steering and I'm freaked out right now, with that too.

Also, D is extremely touched, as he never knew he had advocates who cared so much for his financial status even though it affects them in no way at all.

Finally....My mother adviced me to be like the proverbs 31 woman....and guess what?...she had domestic helps too (notice the plural)....lmao....I kid, I kid....

I guess I'm just trying to tell the busy-bodies in society to back off, one man's meat is another man's poison, so the fact that this doesnt work for you, doesnt mean it wont work for the next person. On second thoughts though, you can decide not to back off....keep doing you, and i'd keep doing me


  1. LOL...I like the last sentence.

    I'm personally for people having helps, the extent of work they do around the house or when depends of course. But hey, most of us are not superwomen, and we're following the example of Prov 31 woman, abi?

    Some people like to think they're very smart, like the initial commenter. :)

  2. LOOOOLLLL!!!! Sorry I know this is serious but I just had to laugh!

    I love the part where "D is extremely touched, as he never knew...." hahaha that cracked me up too.

    Oko-oba to VI everyday is not an easy something o. My dad just moved to Lakowe and when i'm in Nig and have to do Lakowe to VI, i know how cranky I get.

    My dear carry on o cos its better to be able to be dere for D and ur baby than trying to form macho/superwoman!

  3. I am having a help even before the kids come.

    Please keep doing you. (Since i doubt you want to be a full time house wife)

    The difference is my help will come in every morning and be gone by 6pm latest, 12 noon earliest...

    To be successful in all areas, pay for what you cannot afford to do to make time for the stuff you must do, ciao!

  4. I am so having a help once I pop my 1st child. My mother will not even bother.

    As for madam busy body, she is so not different from the person with an help.

  5. Lol. What's wrong with having domestic help. People sha.

  6. @Myne
    Yes o, why would I want to disobey King Lemuel's mother and be another kindda some people just believe age=knowing better

    He really was touched o, I kid u

    Thanks jo...:), they come first so I wont even be moved by other peoples opinions

    I like that plan (the help coming and going)...and really if you can afford to make ur life easier...why not?...Luv d quote :D

    I tire for her o...paid or free, all is help.

    I'm yet to find out too o, please let me know when you

  7. So darrishow I finished writing my comment (which took so long cos I'm using my phone), hit "publish comment" & d phone decided to die on me *sulking*... Here I go again

    I'm with you on this, esp the Proverbs 31 woman part. There's no award for working yourself to death.

    It's only wise to delegate what you can, so you can give your best to those things you can't. Pls get the driver and convert commuting time to R&R time. That way, you have more energy for "extra curricula activities" ;o)

  8. to each his own. the fiance has a help that comes to clean on the weekend.

    That is not going to change when we get married. just because a woman has been married does not mean a cleaner or housegirl has been married

  9. my dear people will always have something to say once it doesnt tally with what they do in their homes and makes me wonder- who made them judge?

    whatever they want to do in their homes they shld do doesnt give them the right to pokenose in your business..

    good thing u ignored her.

    keep doing u jare!

  10. the part that even trips me is when someone told me- "ah u people in london u have washing machine, vaccum cleaner and dishwasher what do u need help for?"

    are u kidding me??? it is ok for u in naija to have help and me in london not too? oya clap for yourself.

    who says those in naija don't have these equipments? why are we even comparing again??

    in fact dont let me start.


  11. LMAO....that was hella all the way! (no disrespect to anyone who bears that name o). But just as Myne said, the extent of what she will do still remains in the jury for me.

  12. To each his own....

    I feel the woman just wanted to talk really, because she has no point esp seeing as she has help in form of her sibling!

    I have a help now and i'm less pressured than when i didnt have one. I must also admit that i'm smacking my boys less now ;)

  13. @ Gbemi,

    do u know i just realised u were saying "Dat is how", I was actually asking my D for the meaning of da-ri-show....i thought it was a yoruba word... lmao...see myself *covers face*

    big YES to "extra curricula activities" o...hehehe


    I tire


    lol, ur kidding me, haba, since when did washing machine, vaccum cleaner and dishwasher equal no need for help...I plan to do me o jare, I CANT SHOUT :)

    hehehe, dont let the ekaete's stage a march against u o...but really o, seems like most ekaete's are helps...wonder why

    My point exactly, the pressure can get to one sometimes so really, having a help actually makes for a less stressed woman in general...the boys must be glad..:)

  14. Really enjoyed reading this posts and the comments

    LOL @Aloted's comments.

    Let them say, its your life
    How have you been jare?

  15. haha taking panadol for another man's headache. I feel you jare abeg get the driver jare who no like enjoyment lol.

  16. For all the people thinking of househelps like my aunty, all of you are very lucky that you are in obodo Naija o. In a country like NZ, househelps are professionals. They earn almost as equal to what a fresh graduate earns. Moreover, for someone like me, I actually do not like the idea of househelps sha but for those who need it, and perhaps can't do without it, then why not? I get your perspective...

    - LDP

  17. This my friend sha, you are very funny. I did not know that D is extremely touched with his advocates, are highly supported dear...

  18. Forget that thing oh, househelps are a huge help. Even if the only thing they do is clean the house, it eases a lot of your stress

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  19. hehehehe gbam jere. Like Gbemi said, there's no award for working yourself to death.

  20. hmmmnnn,funny to note that the woman complainng about the waste of money spent on house helps actually uses her sister as one. My take is that if they give u peace of mind(esp for the house chores and baby minding) go for it. ita your life not theirs