Monday, October 17, 2011

Domestic Help...To each his own

" HAVE a househelp????, for what na, which work is she doing in the house? and you are even paying her that much? Biko, let me come and negotiate with you for the job o, what do you even need a househelp for...Na wa for you o, your just wasting ur husband's money."

Now, this post is not about me asking whether it is right to have a help or not, its simply about me saying....ITS MY LIFE, ITS MY DESCISION, ITS MY MONEY....and as long as I dont get in your business, I'd appreciate u to stay outta mine.

The statement above was made by a woman I met while while discussing about my househelp with my neighbour in the salon yesterday. Was I offended? Nope, Was I amused? Totally.

The discussion of the day suddenly turned to me, and what business I had getting a help, with just one child to take care of. While I had several responses to give as to why I had a help, I really didnt think i owed anyone an explanation (plus I hate being confrontational....yup, I'm chicken like that), so I just smiled and let the conversation go on around me.

Now take note, this woman in question has her younger sis leaving with her, this sister isnt in school yet and is the one responsible for preparing her 2 kids for school, picking them up, preparing them for bed, and preparing food for the house (unsolicited information gotten from the hairdresser after the woman had left the In other words, she has what I have, difference is, hers is for free (boarding and feeding fees excluded). Woman 2 who seemed to agree with her is a newly wed (5months into marriage), so not much to deal with in terms of a kid and added responsibility. Plus they both work closer to the area than I do.

Can I live without a help...yes?
what would suffer? ....I'd be ubber stressed out having to deal with the daily back and forth of oko-oba - Victoria Island. I'd be sleep deprived, waking up at 4:15 and sleeping at 10pm with one or two wakes at night. D would hear "baby, pls I'm tired, not tonight" basically every single day of the week...and since I'd be cleaning house once a week on the weekends and doing laundry, weekends might just be included. Finally, I'd be too much of a grouch for miss K, and she'd definitely grow up avoiding me. Dont forget the part of me aging faster than my

So for those that think I am being wasteful...una never start o, cos I'm even thinking of getting a driver. Heard of a man who slumped on the steering and I'm freaked out right now, with that too.

Also, D is extremely touched, as he never knew he had advocates who cared so much for his financial status even though it affects them in no way at all.

Finally....My mother adviced me to be like the proverbs 31 woman....and guess what?...she had domestic helps too (notice the plural)....lmao....I kid, I kid....

I guess I'm just trying to tell the busy-bodies in society to back off, one man's meat is another man's poison, so the fact that this doesnt work for you, doesnt mean it wont work for the next person. On second thoughts though, you can decide not to back off....keep doing you, and i'd keep doing me
Posted on 12:03 PM | Categories:

Friday, October 7, 2011

For the one we lost......

I knew i'd be writting to you sometime soon,
I just never though it'll be this soon.....

I can hold your hand,
but not the pieces of your broken heart,
They seem too shattered to ever be pieced together again.
 I can offer a hug,
but I doubt it'll be enough to dry up the tears 
that just keep flowing without stop.

It feels like life has stopped for you in this one moment,
yet when you look around, life continues for everyone else,
even those who sit right now by your bedside.

We'd say we feel your pain,
but when we get back home, we're surrounded by warmth
we wrap our babies and laugh at their excited gurgle,
And at the back of your mind you wonder...
...How on earth can we understand?

Your world is upside down and you want so bad to scream
Wish it all away, wake up as in from a bad dream

Hmmm, Sister, Friend, my heart breaks for you.
I want to be there for you the best I can
I pray I find the how.

And for you lil one we never got to hold,
I wonder where you are right now.
Maybe back home in heaven,
charming the angels with that smile we'd never see.
When we see again,would we look you in the eye 
and know all of a udden that its you?
Or would you somehow come back to us again???

You'd have brothers and sisters that you may never know,
they may comfort us and with time, 
this pain would fade.
But you would always remain the one,
with whom your mom first experienced the joys of a first kick

Dedicated to MD, who lost her baby at 24weeks...I'm glad to see you're stronger now, you inspire me love

Posted on 10:17 AM | Categories:

Saturday, July 2, 2011

U rock my world....

With your tiny piercing scream
That finds its way thru my subconscious
And startles me to wake.
A glance at the bedside clock tells me
Its just been an hour plus since I put u to bed.

I close my eyes and reflect on life
How its changed these past 14days,
And then smile.
I smile cos even wit my craving for sleep,
And the sometimes overwhelming feelings
That come from the tot of being responsible for another being.
Nothing compares to the joy I have
when i look in your face
and see the beautiful creation
God brought forth through your daddy and I.

I love you already darlyn. Welcome to our world

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Marriage is..........(1)

.......Waking up at 2am
         with a bad craving for coaster biscuit,
Thinking of the two packets
I left on the dining table,Smiley

Heading out to get it and
Seeing a dirty tea mug sitting in its place
with the two empty packets sitting happily in the cup.Smiley Smiley

....."And he called them cheap Five naira biscuits" when I brought them home......SMHSMILEY SHAKING HEAD NO Pictures, Images and Photos

Marriage is the life I have with you....

Thursday, May 26, 2011

A Letter For You....

See how important you are (smiles) you dragged me outta my hiatus, I never imagined that it would happen anytime soon, but here we are, I'm typing at my computer and the only thing i want to do right now is hold your hands in mine and tell you it would be ok.

Bland words, I know, but really love, it would be ok. 

Before you called last night, I already knew. I know we've had this scare before but this time around, I knew it was no scare and so many thoughts ran through my head as I reached out to pick the call.

You said you were ok......why dont I believe you?

The unsure giggle you usually do when you're trying to be strong, the few seconds of silence that speak louder than your words....

We talked future plans, we talked about forgiveness and doing the right thing now, we talked about how things from now on would be different, but in all of it, we didnt talk about today, now, your present state of mind.

I can cast aspersions and ask you "How could you? an unmarried christian woman?"...but then, I'd just be doing the same exact thing you're doing to yourself, and you dont need that right now, so here's what I want to say.

No matter what the case, I love you to bits cos you're my friend, you're my sister. 

I know you're scared deep down and I want you to know I'm here for you, through the struggle to share it with family, through the struggle within yourself, through the struggle of what people would say...I'm here

When you want to rant, when you want to cry, when you feel the changes in your body and you just want to bitch, I'm here....when you feel overwhelmed, when all you need is just silence, when you wonder if your descision was the best....I'm here. 

I cant help you right the wrong, I cant take the past away, but I can be here for you while you take the hard decision to walk the right path at present...and no matter how hard you feel its going to be, know this for sure, time would come when today would be history, and you would look into the mirror and know for sure, it wasnt a mistake to walk this path

I love you to bits 

Posted on 2:40 PM | Categories:

Thursday, April 14, 2011

Preparing......(guest blogger - LDP)

The surrounding silence makes the words from my heart resound
Words of requests and deep desires cry out from my innermost parts
My guts wrenching at the intensity of the emotions I feel

"Hush sweet one", I hear....”it’s time to prepare”

"Prepare for what, the barrenness that taunts me with every dawn?"

“Prepare for the increase, prepare for the greatness”

I listen to hear more

"You look but you do not see, because your sight has become dull
Blinded to the things that are by the things that are not
...Unable to differentiate between the two.

You wait for tomorrow when today sits unattended
Asking for the rain, when the soil still sits untilled”

“But my hands are empty, nothing within my grasp with which to till”

“Emptiness to you, sufficient to me...
Now listen to these words, here’s how to go......"

And instruction came, and within those words I found the strength
...The strength to prepare for my increase.
                                                                                                 - Jhazmyn

Two farmers were praying and believing God for rain on their lands. It’s been months without rain and they were afraid to put the few seeds they had into the ground because they were not sure if it’d rain or not. Both farmers prayed but one of them went further by planting the few seeds he had. Should you be asked; “which of the farmers do you think actually believes God for rain?” I am sure your answer would be just as simple as mine; the one that planted his seeds.

In the bible, precisely in the book of 1 Kings 18, there were two people that we could liken to the two farmers illustrated above: Elijah and the King, Ahab. The Bible recorded, “And Elijah said to Ahab, “Go, eat and drink, for there is the sound of a heavy rain.” So Ahab went off to eat and drink, but Elijah climbed to the top of Carmel, bent down to the ground and put his face between his knees” – v41&42. The difference between an ordinary believer and a Faith believer is that while the former is eating and drinking just expecting increase, the latter is bent down, face between his knees – an action that signifies, “Lord, I believe you can do it. I will not let you go until you bless me”. So what can we learn from these two men when preparing for increase?

1.      Believing is not enough, follow it with action: when you only believe without action, you are not acting in faith. Believing is like having a key and standing in front of the door without opening it or taking a cheque to the bank unsigned. To prepare for increase, we must move from the level of just believers to faith believers. The keyword, A.C.T.

2.      When you see ‘little’, that’s the confirmation you need: Elijah did not wait till the rain started drizzling. As soon as the servant confirmed he saw “a cloud as small as a man’s hand is rising from the sea”, that was it! It was enough sign to believe in the God that never fails whenever we call upon him. To prepare for increase, watch out for signs. Don’t ever be in doubt even when all you see it little.

3.      Run! When you run in faith, you run ahead of others. When the momentum of your action is not determined by news but by the word of God, no matter how long or how far people have been running before you, you will surely meet and overtake them. That was what happened in the case of Elijah. As soon as he saw the sign, he started running. God is happy when a man believes Him so much as to run with the WORD. How do I know you asked? Here, “The power of the LORD came on Elijah...” and guess what happened after, “...and, tucking his cloak into his belt, he ran ahead of Ahab all the way to Jezreel.”
                                                                                         - LDP

Posted on 11:18 AM | Categories:

Monday, March 7, 2011

GPS (God's Positioning System) Navigation

I got to the airport and realised I had a few hours to spare, my hosts offered to send the driver down to pick me but I decided the weather looked great for a drive, plus, when last did I get to drive a long stretch on good roads. So I rented a car (made sure it was one that had a very good GPS navigator and off I down, fresh air right in my face and beautiful music playing in the background.

"Take a left turn at the next..." the voice instructed, and left I turned, "Take a right...", so I turned right, I missed my turn and there was that voice again telling me where I needed to turn to get back on track my destination, I felt good and so in tune with made me think of how He directs us daily through the Holy Spirit.

Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, “This is the way; walk in it. - Isaiah 30:21

I smiled and said a silent prayer of thanks to God...."Its been amazing how You've been directing my steps so far You know and I love you more and more"

I cant exactly remember for how long but I realised that I'd been driving for almost 30 minutes on a stretch of road and I had not recieved any instructions....I got worried, maybe the GPS was broken. I parked the car and brought out the map that was stowed in the glove compartment, and heaved a sigh of relief when I saw I was still on the right track. Just as I pulled back into the road, the though crossed my mind and it made me smile even more....I remembered times when it seemed like I'd been on the same path for too long and I was pinning so bad for a change, I prayed and prayed asking God for direction but He remained made me realise that sometimes, His silence doesnt mean something is wrong, it could also mean we are on the right track, but we need to remain on this road just a little longer. 

Few minutes later I pulled up at my I lay in bed that night, I thought of the day past and the lessons learnt on the road....Thank You Father for the gift of the Holy Spirit.

Inspired by a sermon by Pastor Sam Adeyemi

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Stranger in My House

In the words of  Tamia....

You look just like the man in the picture by our bed,
 I'm checkin' your clothes and you wear the same size shoe
You sleep in his spot and you're driving his car 
But I don't know just who you are 
There's no way you could be who you say you are, you gotta be someone else 
Cuz he wouldn't touch me like that, and he wouldn't treat me like you do 
He would adore me, he wouldn't ignore me, so I'm convinced there's a stranger in my house.

Last week I told you how we needed to pay the kids school fees
You snapped at me and yelled you had nothing to were flat broke
Didi gave me a call just last night, she saw you with the boys, 
and heard clearly when you said "Drinks are on me boys" Its my treat.

It makes me remember our little one of three years back...Only 3hrs we had to share
We didnt even get to name him....he was there and then he wasn't.
You did not talk to me for months after that, 
your silence acused me and branded me guilty of murder
I wanted us to share our grief, but you would have nothing of it.
I had lost a child too you know, yet I could not grieve, you would not let me grieve
For if I did, who would have taken care of our 2year old daughter?

You screamed at me when I cried three days back, 
Asked me to grow up and quit acting helpless and stupid
in your words "So what if you lost the job is, life happens to us all doesn't it? deal with it"
I really was going to deal with it, I guess I just wanted you to care, after all, I'm you wife for heavens sake.
I miss having you listen and tell me words that I already know
Not because I cant tell them to myself, but at least, then I know you care

My friends and family tell me I need to be strong, afterall they warned me ahead
"He's always been selfish and immature and the present pressure is more than he can handle"
"But don't act like he's a different man....he never changed you know"
Part of me hates that they're right...Part of me refuses still to accept

So here I lie in the dark, your silent snore the only thing I still can recognise
The tears dont fall but my heart bleeds in many places...Its a pain I'm becoming used to
I know I want more, I deserve more than you offer me right now
And if you're really honest with yourself ..... you'd agree that I speak the truth......

Monday, January 17, 2011

Stylish and Versatile Bloggers Award

So I got the award from Myne (Thanxs a bunsh Myne) and I must say I am flattered and honored (girlish giggle), even though when it comes to style, I must confess I need major help, lol.

So here's the rule :
1. Thank the person who gave you the award and link back to them in your post.
2. Tell us 7 things about yourself.
3. Award 15 other bloggers.
4. Contact these bloggers and let them know that they have won.

7 things about me....hmmmm

1. I can be outspoken but I have moments when I'm totally self conscious to a fault.
2. I cry when I watch movies, not just :"tears streaming down my face" kindda crying, but "nose running, body jerking" sobs (depending on how long the scene that evoked the tears drags on for).
3. I google my name and friends name every now and then
4. Once in a blue moon, when I'm bored, I play dress up. I choose a theme or imaginary event and dress the part, make up and accessories included.
5. I can be a recluse and when I get in that mode, I really just want to be left alone.
6. I imagine grabbing my boss by the collar and slapping away all her eccentricities.....hehehe, she's so unpredictable, yet that's what I love most about her.
7.People say my life itself is an them

I hereby award the following bloggers:

Writefreak (Who has been AWOL since forever)

Have a great week y'all, I plan to, no matter what may come :)
Posted on 12:15 PM | Categories:

Friday, January 14, 2011

I'm Back

Wow.....I'm finally back from my self imposed e-vacation (very much needed vacation), and it feels real good to be back, lemme start by saying HAPPY NEW YEAR to everyone...better late than never right *smile*.

I have a feeling I'm going to quit being anonymous this year, cos I've reviewed this space and I keep asking myself the reason for being anonymous, anyways, all that in due time.

So much happening, yet I still lack the words to share, but its all good good good.

Ok, just wanted to say I'M B-A-C-K-K-K-K......see you guys again real soon, muah
Posted on 12:45 PM | Categories: