Friday, March 26, 2010

Update ....

First off....What do you think of the new layout...Is it better that the former?...U get to decide if it gets to stay or not...that's how much I value  (I really mean that)

So sequel to my semi-rant I finally got to track down the producer in question and his excuse was that he was outta town (thats why we have phones and the internet communication can be a whole lot easier).

Anyways, I collected my demo yesterday and I think I'm pleased with it...I do feel it could have been better (I always feel that), but i think I'm just going to move ahead with it and start the race...I do have moments though when i wish the guy didn't act up, cos he was a great talent to work with, I'd give him that, but i guess like they say...Talent is never enough.

I think I'm just going to move on and hope i meet another good producer...In the meantime, I plan to fix an appointment with a Manager...for now, I think that's the next step to take... and my partner agrees with me (yeah, we're a duo) guys, wish us luck as we pursue that line.

Have a great weekend y'all....I plan to do same myself...and thanks for all the encouraging words on the last post...It sure lifted my spirit.

PS: I have a chat box guys, pls don't hesitate to drop a line... and dont u dare make me ask

Posted on 1:45 PM | Categories:

Thursday, March 18, 2010

The Silence Doesn't mean that I'm alone

Days in which i saw reason, more than ever to hope.
Reason to believe that it was soon to be,
To believe that it already was.
I had prepared my testimony...only to realise today.
...It was just false alarm.
I"m confused and I just dont get it
You knew, didnt You,
You had to know...You always know
I just wonder why You let me believe.

I dont know how much of this I can take,
It wears me down...
My eyes, like my heart, so heavy from the downpour.

You see, it really would have been cool 
If i didnt get that false sliver of hope
Cos I was in such a great place
with faith and trust,
but this....this just about shatters me
and i feel so bruised in many places.

Yeah, thats me, ranting at God...I went to bed last night, so furious, and when i woke up, this rant was on my lips.

I paused at this point of my prayer and just lay still, letting all the grief pour out (Do you too feel hurt on some deep level that it begins to feel like a physical pain?), and in the brief moment i paused, i remembered the words....where can I go from Your presence (Thanks Jaycee)...and the words from the song..."Consider all that He has done, stand in awe and be amazed, know that He would NEVER change....Be still"....

Sometimes, like this morning, i dont hear Him speak, but i feel Him, even in that place of hurt, i feel Him, and so i just lay there, as the sobbing slowly subsided, and finally stopped.

All day, I've been silent, but not the silence of grief...its the silence of understanding. Its easy to look to the heavens and ask ... WHY ME!!!!, its easy to feel betrayed and failed when it seems God isn't working things out for our good, but trust is understanding ALL things, God works for our good, in the death of His son, even when Jesus cried out and wept...He did not make the pain go away, yet, that was God, working it ALL out for our good.

So yes, I have the moments when i weep, yet still i know, now and forever, You are God and there is none like You, indeed, You work ALL things out, for my good.
Posted on 3:59 PM | Categories:

Tuesday, March 16, 2010


So a quick follow up on the last post....

I called the producer I'm working with using my colleagues' number...Dude picks the call and is i go "hello"....and Dude goes..Hello....Hello, who's this....Hello, and the line goes dead.

CHAI!!!* .... in this Lagos, this dude wants to act smart with me...definitely not after over 20 years of being a well trained Lagosian....I'm pretty upset right now and highly disappointed...cos i expected a lot more professionalism from this dude.

So now the quest not to be duped begins, heck, i dont owe this guy a dime...whats with the "James Bond-ing" all of a sudden.

I'm tapping my right feet continuously, huffing real hard at intervals and shaking my head right now, cos really, i saw the signs o....From when i got this sms

...Hi , pls i need a favour, my uncle is really ill and admitted in the hospital....we need 200k for his treatment but i can just raise 150k right now...can i get a loan of 50k from you , to refund at the end of the month, He's kindda like a father to me"

I shuould have smelt the coffee...being that this sms came after only two meetings with this fellow. Thank God i didn't add that to 50k to my list of worries

Anyway, i have spoken enough...for now my hands are tied, as he has even moved studios and i still dont have the new address, but if i dont get that friend who introduced us would not hear the last of it...

Mschewww, n'obodo a?...MBA NU*

I'm about to bust out some Ninja skills of my own.....LOL...seriously though, I'm not going to just sit back

* CHAI ---Igbo exclamation

*n'obodo a?...MBA NU --- In this town...HELL NO
Posted on 2:52 PM | Categories:

Friday, March 12, 2010

Too Old to Pursue My Dream???


I....JHAZMYN....have moments like these when i feel scared that maybe i'm getting too old to pursue my dream, cos i've been on this path and i just havent hit that mark yet...

There, i said

But seriously, i have moments (like now) when i review my life, and i count the added responsibilities and i begin to wonder, should i just drop this and face the other things in my life that are already working out real well, like my career and my personal business.

But i just cant give up cos the most annoying thing is....singing is my number one passion and this is no brag but yes, i know i can sing...
In the past few years I've been working on some tracks, its been one disappointment or the other and I'm just beginning to my age even on my side anymore?

I do know though that tomorrow, i would still use an unknown number and call up the new producer i hooked up with, cos recently, he isn't picking my calls and some red flags flying earlier, kindda hinted at him having some "money issues". I'm just hoping he isn't trying to bail on me, especially since he's been paid in full. Plus, in the space of time we hooked up, he has moved studio and he still haven't sent the new address as he promised he would.

So fear or not...i know i'm going to keep at it....I just wish it has happened already, cos I cant remain a spring chicken forever you know. But really, is there such a thing as being too old to pursue a dream?

Have a great weekend y'all....and as much as you can, try not to make the weekend just about you...its amazing how beautiful life can seem when we take the time to touch the life of another, no matter how small the act may be. Make a phone call, plan a visit, give a hug and a smile...It can be as simple as that..

Posted on 7:35 PM | Categories: