Friday, June 25, 2010

You just dont listen do you???....

Those are the words i tell my mind
When my heart knows a thing 
but my mind just fails to grasp it.

Sometimes i wonder why she acts dense
"It cant be that hard can it?" i ask
and silently she replies
"oh, you just dont know".

So my heart told me "enjoy the process of learning"
and then yesterday, while learning
I slipped and fell, and yeah it hurt.
My heart told me "laugh, then try again"
My mind taunted "you just cant get it right can you?"
"little miss perfect yet still you fail?"

And so, even though i know in my heart
that the process of learning should be enjoyed
the failures, embraced and as a part of it all
In my mind, I just wanna curl up and hide
shamed to the deepest parts...
till fear stops me trying, lest once again, i fail....

To her i must be fair though
Sometimes she does know better
like in the matters of love and relationships
She becomes teacher and my heart...the student
they just confuse me you know...
my mind
But when they learn to work as one....
Together they make me....the best that I've ever been

Do not be conformed to this world (this age), [fashioned after and adapted to its external, superficial customs], but be transformed (changed) by the [entire] renewal of your mind [by its new ideals and its new attitude], so that you may prove [for yourselves] what is the good and acceptable and perfect will of God, even the thing which is good and acceptable and perfect [in His sight for you]....Rom 12:2 (Amp)

PS: Does your heart and mind war too like mine? is there any example you wanna share?

Thursday, June 10, 2010

Upon the Altar

I wrote this in 2006, don't even remember what spurred it....but this morning I read the words again, and they are re-assuring.

Lay upon My altar
Be silent, be still before me
Don't struggle as the fire burns
Just let it burn.

You fear the purification
Do you not trust me?
You fear the pain
Know that I feel it too
You fear to let go
To be vulnerable before me
Do you still fail to understand my love?

Lay still upon this altar
Lay still and let the fire burn.

I don't often go thru my old writtings, but this morning, I did, and I'm glad I did...

I start reading a new book today, Aesop and the CEO....hope it makes a good read...:)
Posted on 7:06 AM | Categories:

Thursday, June 3, 2010

Where did the innocence go???

I remember thinking how cute his head looked,
with the slight "ogo" protruding from the back,
that matched that of the man, 
behind whom he rode on the "okada"
that night, as they passed by me,
slowing down slightly up ahead
just as i got into my car

I remember thinking "ahh...he must have read my tots"
as he turned back to stare at me.
I flashed a smile, cooing at this kid...
he looked to me to be only but 10, or there about 
He couldn't have aged much more.

He flashed back a smile...
and my skin crawled and i felt a chill
sinister is the word that best describes it
that smile was not soon to be forgotten.
My headlights reflected the glint from the metal
and "BANG"!!! went the little boy's revolver.

Two months on the hospital bed
Few more in physio-therapy
I still remember so clearly
the cute little boy and the man, maybe his father,
that left me with nothing that night, save my life,
and maybe that, even, by chance.
I see the child surrounded by life's harsh realities
and ask myself...where did the innocence go?

Today i trust no one...
Not even the little boys standing by the roadside
Waving me down for a ride to school.
I trust no one....
Not even the pregnant woman
struggling with the masses for a seat in the bus
I trust no one....
Not even the beggar that stands by the roadside.
I trust no one
All because of that one night...and that day I swore to myself
"Every man/child/ his own".

....This post was spurred by a conversation I had with a friend, and the story narrates his ordeal...till date, he tells everyone who cares to listen, how that day has hardened him, I dont blame him, so many people have lent a helping hand, only to get badly hurt in the process.

There was the woman, who tried to help a "lost" child, and ended up gang rapped...those men and the child were brought to book, but this woman just might never be the same....

I used to pick children along the road on my way to work and drop them off at school, but stopped when I heard of how someone's phones and wallet was "picked" as he helped same such children to school one morning.

Yet the question begs to be we turn our backs on others, because we run the risk of being hurt in the process...or do we continue to lend the helping hand, hoping that we would be able to outsmart those who plan wickedness in return.

*ogo* - yoruba term for protrusions, mostly at the back of the head
*okada* -  local term for a regular motorcycle
Posted on 2:04 PM | Categories: