Friday, April 23, 2010

Romance VS Stress

First off...I want to start by acknowledging the passing away of Dagrin...I just heard on my way to work this morning and the news sure dampened my spirit...I'm not a Fan but "D" was and he always told me that i didn't appreciate Dagrin cos he rapped in Yoruba, which i don't fully understand yet.

I sure wish the story was different for him, but i guess such is life, life can sure be fickle sometimes, one minute here, the other, gone......RIP Dagrin...sad this happened just when you were about to make it real big.

Now, to the title of the post...the past two weeks have been really stress filled, and this hasn't done anything good for my mojo or my sense of romance....not good, considering the fact that D is hyper on romance and

The day starts at 5am....we rush through two hours of traffic trying to get to the office, this week for me has been from one meeting to another, one proposal to the other, one hustling (yup, i'm a major hustler, blame it on to another...and before i know it, its time to head home.

We spend another two hours (somedays three) in traffic trying to get home and by the time i get home, all i can think of is, prepare dinner, eat (on the days i can go through the motion), take a shower and sleep before the alarm tells me its 5am again.

Now for just 18months of marriage...this picture just doesn't cut it for me, i had a vision of what my marriage was going to be like and the 18months plan, sure didn't look like after a really lengthy discussion with D and after getting some tips from my big sis' (that includes writefreak) , here's what we came up with, real regular tips, but sometimes, we need to remind each other of how necessary these little actions are.

1. Plan days for take outs, that way, cooking is not on my mind when I get home late....take some time to soak in a warm bath, complete with bath salts and scented candles....the rejuvenation should work miracles.

2. On nights I have to cook, boss lady should not expect me in the office until 9.30am...cos a good dose of morning cuddling or sex, would sure be appreciated by D while not affecting my efficiency one bit....after-all, everyone knows a relaxed woman covers more grounds than a cranky one.

3.Work on learning to shut up and trust D when he's on the steering...I'm paranoid like that, and tend to think I'm more careful than he is when it comes to driving....this sure increases my stress level, but for the past two days, i think my efforts are paying off, even though i had to shut up mid-sentence on several occasions.
4. They say exercising makes one feel sexier, but as the case is, the gym owes me three months membership cos the last time i was there was when we made payment....blame it on living on the mainland while working on the island....anyways, plan B is to take a walk everyday while at work, and since D and I love to fool around at home in the name of dancing...making that a regular occurrence shouldn't be a problem at all, that should cover the aspect of exercising....I hope.

So we started out on Wednesday...and it sure was worth it i tell you (wink wink), Wednesday was take out day, and after my dinner of dodo and mexican fish, and doing a little "dance act" for D, we both woke up with massive grins on our faces on thursday

Add to that the anticipation that is building today already, and the bath salts and scented candles i just sent for...i have a feeling, tomorrow (which happens to be my birthday...YAY) would start off on a totally great note.

I guess what I'm just trying to say is, even when live happens and stress tries to choke out the romance in our marriages, we owe it to ourselves and our families, to fight to keep the romance going...its really possible if we put our minds to it.

Was chatting with my elder sis who's been married for six years, with two kids, and she's thinking of ways to convince her hubby to join her in dance salsa your magic :)

So people, what do you guys do to keep that fire burning, do share while commenting o, you never can tell whose marriage it would save tomorrow......Have a great weekend y'all, I sure plan to, after-all, ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOMORROW!!!!!!


  1. Hmmmmmmm! Soooo looking forward to tonight!

  2. wife shares the same habit as you stated in #3!

    And her birthday is also tomorrow!!

    Are you long lost twins or what? lol

    Hmm...And from Mr. 'Anonymous' comment here, he sounds like D! lol

    To keep our fire burning, I do help her out with some things that reduce the stress of her - like giving the baby her bath, babysitting for her when she has to go for lectures. For me, she experiments on new menus from time to time because she knows how much I love food. She also help keep stress off me by helping out.

    We also love going out together on trips, any outing just to have a good time.

  3. @ Anonymous (D)

    LMAO...u are huh...see you in about 4hours

    I can almost see you nodding vigorously at Afro's "new recipe"

    @ Afronuts

    I think almost all wives do that for real???? she's my buffday wonder she's awesome...we April babies are awesome like that you know...(especially 24th babies)....

    Yes ooo, Mr anonymous sure is

    Aww, you know, ur really one of a kind, you actually give ur baby a bath and baby-sit? i need to save and print this for future references o...

    New recipes huh...ok, i think i need to repent on that

  4. Happy birthday in advance,
    I am getting married soon and i keep wondering how i will juggle all the new responsibilities i am going to acquire and still keep the flag of romance flying and keep working in my ever stressful office.
    Have a fab 1 tommorrow

  5. Happy birthday in advance.
    First time here and I'm already loving the flow.Hell yes!I'd be back.

  6. Awww, I liked this post, don't ask me why, though I suspect you already know, lol.

    We both have our house chores but help out each other a lot. I work from home so sometimes my hours are wack, still I try to curtail it and give Atala my attention. We try to go out ever weekend, even if just for a movie. We take day trips to sights in our area and just chill out.

    We're taking dancing classes now as something to do together and it is really working. SO my advice to your sis to to tell her hubby that salsa will make her (and him too) a better lover, lol.

  7. I feel you on this post. I just had a very stressful week, which made me tired and cranky and of course not in the mood for romance. I had to take some time out to chill, rejuvenate and spend time with hubby over the weekend. Thankfully, I'm back to my normal self :)

    It's so important not to let the stress of everyday life take a toll on our relationships.

    Hope you had a fab birthday! x

  8. @ BuBu

    Thanks Bubu, The best thing about life is we always find a way to achieve the things we are passionate about and committed to, so that assures me that you would find your own way to create a balance...its a learning process that is worth every step

    @ sosexy

    Thank a bunch girl...and I'm sure glad you like

    @ Myne Whitman

    Lol...i dont know oooo

    Its a special thing when a man helps out with the chores honestly, and that's one thing I'm real grateful for

    Message delivered ... and trust me, my sis is working hard at her

    @ Favoured Girl

    i sure hope you had a great and rejuvenating weekend...Just like you, I get cranky too when i'm stressed, not cool at all...Great jot with the series...I'm off to read Fridays post...and i did have a great Bday...quiet but great

  9. First time here and I'm already loving the flow.Hell yes!I'd be back.
    data entry work from home