Friday, April 24, 2009

I AM ENOUGH

I was going to put this up yesterday, but i decided to wait for today...its in celebration of the start of another year for me, i want to be the first to say...HAPPY BIRTHDAY JHAZMYN The words..."I AM ENOUGH", have been ringing constantly in my ears and its been a great feeling, that feeling of empowerment, that feeling of being unstoppable, that feeling that makes one believe they can do whatever it is they set their heart on to do.

I'm not qualified because i'm cute, classy, priviledged, connected or even book-smart, i'm not qualified cos right now i look the part of success, i'm not qualified cos i look all put together and complete (not that these on their own are not important), i'm not qualified, fit or sufficient in myself to count anything as coming from me, but my power, ability and sufficiency are from God (2 Corinth 3:5).

Ahhh, the empowerment in that, realising that He gives me what it takes to do all that i do.
And so i was at calabar, representing my boss at a presentation and the CEO of the company there walked in, looking all daunting and untouchable, and at first i'm freaked out, but then...He's my qualifier right, its not about me but Him. I look round, i'm the youngest in the room, the one will the least number of years in terms of qualification, the least corporate looking, in my jeans, fitted shirt and cute loafers (dont judge, i'm an architect so its allowed to be in jeans constantly, moreover, what'll i do without my jeans? lol). So i tell myself, just do the damn presentation and get moving, it'll be a walkover....and a walkover it was, it went great
Two hours later, the presentation is done, i'm about to set out for the airport cos I need to be back in Lagos today, the CEO walks up to me
"So jhazmyn, it was nice meeting you, Mrs. A (My boss) never told me she had a dynamite working with her, we wont have gone with the higher end proposal, but I must confess, you erased every doubt while you made that presentation, I'd be in touch, I'm sure we'd be doing a whole lot more with you guys"

I got to the office and Mrs A says

"Wow jhazmyn, what the hell did you do in calabar, he has insisted you and you alone handle the project, i'm proud of you cos he's a tough one to impress "

Humbled, that's what I was, cos truth be told, all I did was repeat those words to myself before i began...He is my qualifier, He is my qualifier, He is my qualifier... and the rest of the day just passed by like a mirage.

These days, I walk tall, I walk strong, not because of anything i have done on my own, but because, when I look into the mirror(2corinth 3:18), the reflection i see makes me realise that because of who I am, created by the one who holds the world in His hands, i dont have to try to be, i just have to be, because, on my own, according to His creation of me.....I AM ENOUGH, and so are you


Note:
2 Corinth 3:18 - And all of us, as with unveiled face, [because we] continued to behold [in the Word of God] as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are constantly being transfigured into His very own image in ever increasing splendor and from one degree of glory to another; [for this comes] from the Lord [Who is] the Spirit









Posted on 1:00 AM | Categories:

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

On a high


I'm on a high these days, i guess its cos I've finally gotten off my behind and begun to do the things i ought to (ok, save for the fact that i wont be going to the office tomorrow cos of my sis' introduction, and though i feel really guilty, I'm still not going).

I'm so on a high that i wake up each morning and i'm cackling with excitment, new ideas, calls to make, appointments to set, discussions to have with the boss man..

I'm so on a high these days cos i've found a way outta that state of limbo and have begun to set into motion those visions that keep me awake with fear, uncertainty and wonderings of how i'd fit them into my already busy schedule.

I'm so on a high these days, as i learn the things i need to do, discover the things and attitudes i need to drop (and actually make a move to drop them), and understand more and more the dynamism that's packed up inside of me.

I'm so on a high these days.....And its all because i know that i will and i can live those dreams...heck, the journey has already begun.

PS: I really wish this guilt would pass...its almost dampening my high
Posted on 9:42 PM | Categories:

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Memories...Days of being a brat

I’ve spent the greater part of today thinking over my life and how I’ve evolved. Being the last born I was so used to living my life for me so much so that even a baby was seen as a burden.

I can’t remember the date but the month was November and the year 2000, spoilt last born that I was, I had spent the better part of the day sulking and cussing my fate…

Afterall, I wasn’t there when her mum and day were playing “needle in the hay stack” so why should I be the one to play the part of baby sitter while the owners are out in town sorting out their “issues”

Everyone else was about their own business and I was stuck wit my lil niece of 7months.

The closest thing I’d baby-sat before then was my doll and even that was a good 11years ago.

Well, after getting over the “bad hand” fate had dealt me, I set about to do the job,

I cuddled her, put some more powder on her to make her smell lovely and fresh, sat on the floor and let her lean on my tummy as I set out to brush her hair (if I could call it that)

Three brush strokes later, the little thing let out a shrill cry that would make even the devil jump outta his skin,

Ok, ehmmm, this shouldn’t be so hard,
Where did I keep that bottle of food.... I get the bottle and just as the nipple gets into her mouth, she spits out a mouthful of milk into my face, I try two more times….same result, so that cancels out hunger right?

What else can I do? I stand up, put her against my chest and rock her gently as I sing to her (I’ve got a great voice so that should calm her)…na lie…she only increases her pitch in a bid to out “sing” me


Mum did say she loves being carried on the back, so I get a piece of cloth and the next thing I feel are her “devlish claws” digging into my skin, jeez, I never knew those things could cause so much pain

In the course of an hour, I tried rattles, teddy bears, teething rings, water….I tried everything I could think of but this child was determined to make me go mad.

So it wasn’t a surprise when I totally gave up sat on the floor in from of her and burst into tears asking the child in my most controlled frustrated voice
“I’ve fed you, rocked you, tried to play with you, carried you outside, what again do you want me to do ehnn, I’m tired, please cant you just stop crying”

…and that was the scene my poor mom walked into, shaking her head as she snatched the poor thing from where I’d left her and started cooing, few seconds later, that conniving mass of adorable fat stopped crying and I could almost swear I saw a glint of triumph in her eyes as my mom carried her in.

Nine years after, seven nieces and nephews, a home of my own later…I have totally grown (I get choice?)…lol

Monday, April 6, 2009

70 x 7

The story of a "christian couple"

Mr and Mrs A got married and 6months into their marriage both of the became christians, the type of christians that live their lives strictly by the bible.

Mrs A is a rather "truthful" woman, the type who believes in speaking the truth in all things and at all times, like reminding Mr A that she earns more than he does, she being a banker and him a teacher so as to "encourage" him to get a better job rather than remain as a teacher (which he always told her was what he wanted to remain all the days of their lives right from the start), and reminding him that the car was bought by her money so he needs permission to use it, and reminding him that she pays for the kids school fees so she decides how they should be trained.

In return, Mr.A , a rather quiet fellow believs in moving to the attic when Mrs. A begins to "speak the truth" after all the bible says "better to live in the roof top than dwell in the same house with a contentious woman.

In their 6th year of marriage, Mr. A calls Mrs A and tell her he wants a divorce

Mrs A: Husband of my youth, after i have slaved all these years to be a proverbs 31 woman, industrous in all my ways, is this how you choose to treat me?

Mr A: I only obey the word of God which says "Wherefore if thy hand or thy foot offend thee, cut them off, and cast them from thee: it is better for thee to enter into life halt or maimed, rather than having two hands or two feet to be cast into everlasting fire"

Mrs A: HAAA but the same word says "Moreover if thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone: if he shall hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother", you never did that.

Mr A: But i did the the second year of our marriage, when i raised it up in our family devotion, and two years ago when we were praying at the christmas re-union and i raised it as a prayer request, that in the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established, then i took it to the church when i slipped it into the request basket during prayer meeting last year, but you still have not changed

Mrs A: But Jesus asked to forgive when He told Peter "I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven shall thou forgive thy brother."

Mr A: (Smiling triumphantly and reaching for a book with a lot of tally's scribbled on it) AHA!!!! my dear wife, count it...yesterday night was the 491th time you've offended me so i have God's permission not to forgive you.

And with that, the case was closed


....Having a slow day at work today and i remembered the pastor reading Matt 18:21 and just began to wonder, what if there's somone that actually keeps count of offences? hence this post (can there really be someone that does that?) lol
Posted on 2:04 PM | Categories:

....OF BLESSINGS AND NEW UNDERSTANDING...A letter to D

Hey D,

I guess you're somewhere along the highway now, your car covered in dust as you bounce through those rough terrains you've become used to with time. One hand on the steering and the other wrapped round a can of soda (do you agree with me now when i say you've become addicted?)

Sunday was great you know, the worship, the sermon, and you all decked up and looking fab in your dark suit as you served for the first time with the church protocol, you were so excited to finally be serving weren't you (so sorry i was so lazy to wake up to make the first service with you though).

You know, sitting here at my PC, i still feel the same way i felt yesterday. There's this silly smile splashed across my face, i feel like i'm floating on some cloud, my heart feels like its bursting, i'm singing, there's a bounce in my step, everyone's asking what's up with me cos i seem so different.

Singing "E ba mi gbe oruko re" (Help me lift His name up), that was when it hit me, the realisation that i live a blessed life, the realization of an amazing love story between the greatest man anyone could ever imagine and me, the realization of how hung up on me He is, so much so that He's given me His everything....praise took on a whole new dimension cos it was like getting a new understanding of what it meant to be called His own.

Then the preacher started the sermon...there i am, still wrapped up in gratitude, still overwhelmed by His love, still stunned into deep silence by new understanding.

"We'd be discussing Character and marriage", the preacher said....i didn't know what i had coming.

It wasnt until i felt the tears fall that i realised....oops, i was crying...yep, crying and laughing too, for all the time wasted in not being thankful for being me, not only to be cherished by the Godhead but also adored by the one that He calls his own, you.

The beauty of being me, totally favored, eternally blessed, kept withing the unshakable bossom, unmoved by the winds, unshaken by the storms and unperturbed by the "norms" of humanity, lovingly cooconed within that place I renew my springs that never dry up, gently loved into greatness and strength.

Of all the things i am thankful for, today i celebrate the greatest gift ever, the gift of the life which i live in Christ, and also, i celebrate the tender gift of pure love, your love.

I love you D, and like i always say, it couldnt have been anyone else.


Always

NFM





PS: D has been going on and on about how boring my previous layout was and on sat he changed it...said he thinks this one suits my "nature" better...lol, hope y'all like it better

Posted on 1:47 PM | Categories: