Tuesday, June 16, 2009

HELP!!! I'M MARRIED


Sat 13th June

She woke up that morning to the sight of him getting ready to head out to church, he'd started the third phase of "membership classes" and had to be there before 7am, she lazily stretched as he kissed her good-bye, " drive safe ok" she says, as he walks out the door.

Left to her, she'd go straight back to sleep, but then, there's two weeks laundry to be done (thanks to the washman's leg being broken by his wife..lol), the toilets have to be scrubbed, the house cleaned, there's groceries to be bought, and lots of cooking to be done...phew, its one of those weekends.

So, she gets out of bed, puts on her superwoman cloak and sets out to work...

Skip forward, 11.30, the laundry is done, house is clean, toilets scrubbed, all that's left is groceries and cooking. The doorbell rings

"Hi hon" "how did it go, and how come your just gettin in, thought you guys were done by 9"

"yeah we were, but i was made the assistant president of the class so we had to stay back to sort out some things"

In her head she's thinking....Hmm, you work two services each sunday, go for two vigils every month, your unit serves at special church programmes,and now ur adding this responsibility again, mo' gbe, se pastor ni e abi kini? (I'm dead, are you a pastor or what), but she smiles and goes

" I do hope its not so time consuming, you know we're still working at spending more time together"

but what she really wants to say is

Nigga, what's ur problem, do you need an angel to come from heaven, hit you over the head with a stick and ask you to take it easy on the extra responsibilities ur picking up cos this home right here is like major important

He looks at her and he sure knows the wife he's married

"Baby, i know what you're thinking, but no, it wont affect our time, i've already told them i wont be around next week cos of our planned weekend trip, so i'm on top of this ok"....God sure saved his arse by putting those words in his mouth.

So she goes in to take a shower and as she walks out he holla's

"baby whats for breakfast"

"Did you get some bread on your way back so i could make some scrambled eggs with sausage to go with it"

"no i didnt, what else is at home"

"well, you could have scrambled eggs and sausages alone, with some baked beans"

"Shuoo, i resemble oyibo, baby, i'm hungry o, and you know that wont even..."

"Send Mohammed (the gateman) to buy bread then"

see me see wahala o, after doing your laundry and cleaning your house, you still dey ask me how we go take buy bread? if you like, no arrange that one yourself...mcheww



Monday 15th June

Skip ahead again Monday morning, she's on her way to work, she'd be stayin at her her sis' for the week and he's heading outta town as usual, so no one would be home.

"Baby, pls don't forget to drop of the stew and soup at Mama's place since its on ur way outta town and the power hasn't been steady all weekend, it'll break my heart after all the work i put in it to come back and find that its gone bad"

Skip ahead again 3hours later, he calls her

"Baby, i'm so sorry but i have to give out your stuff o, i cant stop over cos i'm running late and i need to sign some documents in Ib"

SAY WHAT!!!!!!
I slaved, sweated and worked real hard over that and see how this brutha is telling me glibly that he's about to give it out....to whom, for what!!! hmm, he just crossed a line there, he doesnt even appreciate the effort put into giving him good food ehn?

"No problem" she says, "do whatever you want to"

..in her mind she's thinking...but i promise you, i'd get back at you o, hmm, this one wont just go like that.

That night he calls

"Ololufemi, i've been calling since now, why didnt you pick my call, you still dey vex?"

"Me?...no o, i was taking a shower, how was your trip?"

"Exhausting, but really, hope your not still upset with me"

"At all, but i dont know how we'd do it for the next two weekends o, anyway, next weekend, we're travelling abi? so there's no need i guess its the upper weekend that'll be the problem"

"Problem how, what are you referring to?"

"I wont be cooking again o till first weekend in July, since its easy to give out my food like that, i guess it'll also be easy to do without it"

She can hear him calculating cos he's been looking forward to her special jollof rice and her special edikaikong (this yoruba man is so open to a variety of dishes) which she promised him over the weekend.

"Baby, i thought you said you were, not angry...ok, i promise, i'd go to the market for you, and i'm really sorry, its just the timing, i wanted........

Na him know, anyway, who am i kidding, my mama trained me well, so i know this is just me mouthing, come 27th, i'd be over that cooker, stirring and tasting, .....Phew.....HELP!!! I'M MARRIED....LOL

Anyway, it paid off, he's been calling and checking up more than usual....wink, although this post would spoil all that as soon as he reads it.

I know its a long post, but i needed to blog about something on a lighter note, did a post on my friend that i lost, but i felt it disrespected God so much, so deleted it and decided to post this instead.

Hope you guys have a great week, and thanks so much for the good wishes on the last post, really appreciate it and yes, i'd keep you all updated on the project.

4 comments:

  1. You had me in stitches over your antics.....I shall head back here in future when the Missus puts up any antics.. and let her know I have the inside scoops!

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  2. A beautiful state (oops, estate).

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  3. I have always known men are intelligent and they know what women are thinking if they chill for a second and truly, truly think about it lol, It could save lots of arguments. My Mr is very much an intelligent man cos he knows me by now even if I say "I am fine", I really am vexing lol.

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  4. @ akaBaGucci

    Please do, and use it to her advantage not yours o...lol


    @ rethots

    you can say that again

    @ Afrofabchic

    They definitely are , hmmm, well most of them are (remove my dad from that list, the fellow is just clueless and that makes him cuter to us his kids). But as they say, I guess men and women would always be from different planets..lol

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